What I’ve Learned About Love From Bollywood Movies (and What I Had to Let Go Of)
As a hopeless-romantic, South Asian girl, Bollywood movies weren’t just something to watch on lazy Sunday afternoons—they were the blueprint for love. From DDLJ’s mustard fields to Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham’s dramatic family reunions, Bollywood taught me everything I thought I needed to know about romance.
But here’s the catch: I’ve never been in love. Not even close. No one’s serenaded me in the rain, nor break out in song and dance for me, and I’ve yet to receive a love letter via pigeon. Still, these movies shaped my ideas about relationships in ways I didn’t even realize—until I started questioning them.
Here’s what Bollywood taught me about love, what I’ve unlearned, and what I’m still holding onto (because let’s face it, some of it’s too iconic to let go).
Love Should Be A Grand Gesture
What Bollywood Taught Me: In Bollywood, love isn’t love unless it’s paired with a full-blown spectacle. Think DDLJ’s train scene, where Simran runs to Raj like her life depends on it, or Om Shanti Om, where SRK literally reincarnates for love.
What I’ve Learned: Grand gestures are fun to watch but not always practical. I mean, if someone chased me down at an airport today, I’d be more worried about TSA. Real love isn’t just about fireworks—it’s about the small, everyday things. Like remembering your coffee order or texting back before you spiral into “they hate me” territory.
Love Is Destiny
What Bollywood Taught Me: Bollywood loves the idea of soulmates. Movies like Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na and Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi make it seem like the universe is out here playing Cupid, orchestrating meet-cutes and love-at-first-sight moments.
What I’ve Learned: The idea of destiny is romantic, but it can also make you feel like you’re just waiting for the universe to drop “the one” in your lap. In reality, love is about showing up, being open, and sometimes putting yourself out there—even if it’s through a dating app or an awkward first date. The universe might give you a nudge, but the rest is up to you.
Love Means Sacrifice
What Bollywood Taught Me: From Devdas to Veer-Zaara, Bollywood loves a good story about sacrificing everything for love. These movies taught me that true love is selfless and all-consuming, where you’re willing to give up your dreams, family, or even your life for someone else.
What I’ve Learned: Sacrifice is romantic in theory, but in real life, it’s not sustainable. You shouldn’t have to lose yourself to prove your love. I’ve seen friends stay in relationships that drained them emotionally because they believed love was supposed to hurt. Relationships require more than just love—they need trust, respect, and compromise. Sometimes, walking away from a toxic or unsustainable relationship is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.
Love Will Fix Everything
What Bollywood Taught Me: In Jab We Met, Geet’s bubbly optimism saves Aditya from his existential crisis. In Kal Ho Naa Ho, Aman’s love teaches Naina how to smile again (literally). Bollywood often portrays love as the ultimate cure-all.
What I’ve Learned: Love is amazing, but it’s not a substitute for self-work. Your partner isn’t your therapist, and no relationship can magically fix all your problems. Instead, love works best when both people are already working on themselves—and supporting each other along the way.
Love Is Perfect (and So Are You)
What Bollywood Taught Me: Bollywood love is impossibly glamorous. Everyone’s always dancing in sync, the heroine’s eyeliner never smudges (even during emotional breakdowns), and love stories unfold in slow motion with perfect lighting.
What I’ve Learned: Real love is messy. It’s unwashed hair, mood swings, morning breath, and silly arguments when one is hangry. And while I wouldn’t mind a choreographed dance sequence in my life, I’ve learned to appreciate the beauty in imperfection.
What I Love About Bollywood
For all its dramatics, Bollywoods gets a few things spot-on:
The excitement of falling in love: There’s something magical about those first moments of connection, and Bollywood captures that joy beautifully.
The importance of family: In South Asian culture, love often extends beyond two people—it’s about bringing families together, too.
The hope: Bollywood’s biggest gift is its unshakable belief in love. No matter how complicated or messy things get, love always wins. Bollywood always believes in happy endings, and that’s a vibe I’m keeping.
What I’m Taking Forward
While I’m still waiting for my Bollywood-worthy romance (minus the awkward neck sniffing), I’ve realized that love doesn’t have to be a Bollywood production to feel extraordinary. Love doesn’t need a script, a soundtrack, or a Swiss Alps setting to be magical. It just needs to be real, kind, and yours. And if it comes with a little drama? Well, I’m well-trained from the movies.
